Poop Bag Payoff by Rick Smith

May 28, 2019

Poop Bag Payoff

By Rick Smith

Brody recognized at once what was dangling from Grampy’s clenched right hand.

“Why are you carrying that poop bag around, Grampy?” he asked. Brody was a veteran dog poop picker-upper, faithfully fulfilling the duty at home as one of his family chores.

Strolling by at the same moment a man and a woman were walking their dog on main street at Goldfield Ghost Town located just outside Apache Junction. Ten-year-old Brody and his eight-year-old cousin Liam were both sitting on a bench with Grampy.

“See that dog right there?” Grampy pointed as the man and woman walked by. “I helped them in the parking lot a few minutes ago when their dog pooped. They didn’t have a poop bag to clean it up, but I did, so I offered to help them. They were very grateful.”

Grampy smiled and waved as the man and woman walked by and they waved back.

Now it all made sense to the boys, but Liam still had a question. “But, why are you carrying the poop bag around, Grampy. Why don’t you throw it in a garbage can?”

“Are you sure it’s poop in there?” challenged Brody, remembering that Grampy sometimes played tricks.

“You want to smell it?” Grampy asked. “Here, I’ll untie the knot and you and Liam can come smell.”

“No way,” the boys answered together. “Just throw it away, Grampy,” Liam urged.

“But, wait,” Grampy responded. “I had an idea that maybe here in this old mining ghost town we could concentrate together and magically change this dog poop into something else – like gold.”

“That does it,” Brody replied. ”That can’t be dog poop in that bag, Grampy. What’s in there?”

“Well, if you won’t smell it,” Grampy said, “how about feeling it? Go ahead and squeeze the bag a little.”

Brody and Liam each squeezed and concluded that the contents of the bag passed the touch test as poop. They also each held the bag and agreed it was about the right weight as well.

“OK, so let’s try my magic idea,” Grampy suggested. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll throw the bag away.”

The boys went along with Grampy’s silliness and for 30 seconds they all hovered over the poop bag and concentrated on turning the poop into gold. “Times up!” Grampy exclaimed.

Brody touched the bag and the contents were sill squishy. “Sorry, Grampy, it’s still poop,” he said.

“Well, wait a minute,” Grampy replied, “we should look inside, shouldn’t we?” The boys didn’t want any part of that.

“OK, I’ll look,” said Grampy. “But I’m not reaching in there without a napkin.”

So, Grampy took a napkin from his pocket, untied the knot at the top of the poop bag and carefully reached in with the napkin leading the way. The boys were spellbound as Grampy slowly pulled the squishy contents to the top.

“Here it comes!” Grampy declared as the boys each took a step backward. And then, as the payoff was reveled, they took a quick step forward again.

Because out of the poop bag appeared a beautiful, fresh Crispy Cream doughnut, complete with chocolate icing on top and golden sprinkles. The boys knew they’d been tricked by Grampy again.

The boys happily shared the payoff and it was gone in less than 30 seconds. Magic moments. Real treasure!

 


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Author: Rick Smith

Rick Smith is a resident of Cave Creek and a not-frequent-enough contributor to The Peak. Rick is a published author and former editor. His book, REMF, describes his behind-the-line experiences in Viet Nam. Rick was awarded 1st place in The Peak’s 2004 Write Stuff Contest.

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