by Les Conklin
“Can we withstand the unimaginable beauty?”
Much has been written about urban sprawl’s impact on our quality of life. The time has come for you to act, and embrace an exciting new life style: Sprawl Town!
It’s time to give up our numerous retail centers, stores, houses, apartments and cars and move together into a single, humongous, all-encompassing, ever-expanding store. A place with all the merchandise, services and jobs that you can imagine, and all the people too.
Aisle #1 is where the newborn come into the world. Here you will find baby food, diapers and all the other products that an infant Sprawl Towner needs. Aisle #2 is where Day Care and related merchandise are located. Kids start grade school and buy supplies in Aisle #5. How easy can it get? You simply shop your way through life until you reach the last aisle, Aisle #1000, the cemetery.
“Just one joyous community, enjoying the ultimate shopping experience.”
No need for houses and cars. When you arrive at Sprawl Town you’ll gleefully turn them in. In return, you will receive Sprawl Town money, and a shopping cart. A free, high-speed trains and moving sidewalks will whisk you around Sprawl Town. No more traffic. No more pollution. No more unsightly natural scenery. Just row after row of merchandise. Can we withstand the unimaginable beauty?
Sprawl Towners with the most Sprawl Town money will get sleeping space just below the water-cooled ceiling, with a view of all the merchandise. There will be no homeless people in Sprawl Town. Even the least fortunate person will be provided affordable housing; they will sleep in the lowest storage shelves. No matter what your station in life, prince or pauper, you will get to shop all day, every day.
Can life get any better?
“You’ll find the answer in Aisle #97 (City Hall) and Aisle #98 (State Land Department).”
As more and more excited people rush to live in Stprawl Town, their unwanted businesses, houses and open space will be bulldozed to lengthen Sprawl Town’s aisles. Just think, no more NIMBYs, no more arguments over preserving landmarks, scenic roadsides, and pristine mountain vistas – and no more griping about traffic and pollution. Just one joyous community, enjoying the ultimate shopping experience.
Sure, Spawl Town is a crazy idea, but is it any more insane than clearing mile after mile of land to build new shopping centers while others remain empty, or slip into disuse and decay? You’ll find the answer this question in Aisle #97 (City Hall) and Aisle #98 (State Land Department).
Watch “Save the Scenic Drive from MORE Commercial Development” Video
Related Articles/Videos
See “Save the Scenic Drive” Videos – Published June 20, 2015
Meeting Attendees Voice Strong Opposition to State’s Commercial Rezoning Plan – Published June 14, 2015
Sneak Peeks: Commercial Development Moving Into Desert Foothills Scenic Drive? – Published April 30, 2015
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