Ladies From the Wild Wooly West
By J. Douglas Hinds
She came out of that saddle
Like a startled old bird
With a loud piercing scream
And a four-letter word
Then she finally hit ground
With a sickening thud
When the dust cleared away
She was covered with blood
I ain’t believin’ my eyes
The old wrangler said
As she lay there a bleeding
With a gash in her head
I told ya hang on
Or you’re liable to fall
As she got to her knees
And started to crawl
Wrangler, she said
I’m not riding that horse
He said it’s ten miles back
To your tour bus of course
He pulled out a bottle
From his right saddle bag
Lit up a smoke
And took a big drag
Said here’s some good whiskey
To pour on that wound
Now pull yourself together
We’ll be headin’ back soon
You done paid some good money
To be on this ride
I hear you folks from the city
Have a pretty thick hide
So crawl back in that saddle
Show that nag who’s the boss
If ya give in to the pain
Then the whole day’s a loss
And the rest of you ladies
Since you’re all lookin’ so pale
Keep your feet in the stirrups
And your mind on the trail
One hand on the reins
And one on the horn
Pull your shoulders up straight
Stop lookin’ forlorn
This here is the West
It’s the cowboy way
They don’t give out a refund
For what you had to pay
You’ll go back to the city
With your pictures and stuff
And sit at your desk
On a pillow of fluff
Your friends will all see ya
In your boots and your vest
Bonafide cowgirls
From the wild wooly west
So, come on now ladies
Give me a break
I’m doin’ this job
Just for your sake
Look at this scenery
Smell that fresh desert air
You wanted the cowgirl experience
And I’m takin’ ya there
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