Desert Les At Large: The Lone Ranger Battles COVID-19

Posted By The Peak on Jun 23, 2020

April 30, 2020

By Desert Les

Desert Les’ Bunkhouse

Howdie Pardner,

Yup. It’s good to see you again. Desert Les is back. Not because them Peak readers demanded it but because the fool editor told Desert Les to fill this here white space with interestin’ doings and seeings.

Pardner, It’s quiet here in our COVID-19 hideout and Desert Les got to thinkin’. Used to be that the folks who covered their face with masks stuck up banks, shot fleeing stagecoach drivers and scared the be-Jesus out of confused old timers, cowering women and crying babes. And yup, the town’s men folk watched helplessly as the masked guys carried on. Them bad actors did not give a dang about anybody else. Nope.

When Desert Les was a young-un he used to listen to the Lone Ranger show on the radio. Pardner, the Lone Ranger made things confusing for Desert Les. The Lone Ranger wore a mask but was a good guy who cared about others. He never drank alcohol or smoked, and always used correct grammar. The Lone Ranger never shot to kill his foes. Pardner, the Lone Ranger show began in 1933 and in the hundreds of episodes that aired, the masked hero faced hundreds of bad guys and only killed one of them.

Tonto, Silver and the Lone Ranger before COVID-19 pandemic. l

Anyway, Desert Les went to a bank last week near the southwest corner of Pinnacle Peak and Pima Roads. You know Pardner, it’s the bank near the spot where the cowboy watering hole Rustler’s Rest used to be. Desert Les bets his boots them rustlers was wearing masks when they was doing their evil deeds.

Pardner, when Desert Les got to the bank there were folks waiting outside. A banker/greeter was letting folks in one at a time. Three of them customers was wearing masks and three was not.

Should Desert Les’ put on the COVID-19 mask that he had in his saddlebags? His head started spinnin’ and sudden like his mind turned on the William Tell Overture and mixed in the sound of a galloping horse. Cutting through the mental commotion was a resounding cry. “Desert Les, Put put on your mask. Those folks are your neighbors – care about them. Hi Yo Silver Away!” Desert Les put on his mask and them neighbors and bankers lived happily ever after. Yup.

PS. Pardner, Did you know that the Lone Ranger owned a silver mine. That’s where he got the cash he needed for he and Tonto to eat while they chased down them russlers and robbers. Yup. it took a lot of ore to pay for his his custom madef silver six-guns and silver bullets. The Lone Ranger even named his white horse “Silver” and outfitted it with silver horse shoes. Yup.